A confident person is a lifestyle. What does “self-confidence” mean? A confident person is what he is.

The feeling of confidence for most people depends on the circumstances and options for the development of events. This is probably why we so often think about how to gain stable and permanent self-confidence. We also live in a world where the popular motto is “fake it until you make it.” Therefore, how can one determine whether a person is truly confident in himself or is this just his mask? Keep in mind that confidence is not swagger, bravado or ostentatious bravery. Confidence has nothing to do with selfishness, narcissism and disregard for other people. True confidence is humble and understated and is a natural manifestation of ability, experience and self-esteem. Do you want to recognize truly confident people? They are united by the nine features described below.

1. They adhere to their point of view not because they consider it the only correct one, but because they have no fear of mistakes.

Self-confident and vain people, as a rule, stand by their position, completely ignoring other opinions and points of view. They believe that they are right and want to prove it to everyone. Their behavior is not a sign of confidence, but rather that of an “intellectual badass.” Truly confident people are not afraid of being wrong. Finding out the truth and objective facts is much more important for them than convincing everyone that they are right. And when they are mistaken or mistaken, it is not at all difficult for them to admit it.

2. They listen much more actively than they speak.

Boasting is a mask that hides insecurity, and this model of behavior is completely uncharacteristic of self-confident people. They know their position, but they also want to hear yours. They ask open and direct questions, giving other people freedom to express their point of view and asking for their opinions and possible advice. Confident people know they have enough knowledge, but they are hungry to know more, and the only way to learn more is to listen more.

3. They do not like to bask in the glory of bringing other people into the spotlight.

More often than not, these are the people who do most of the work. They are the ones who cope with all the problems and unite disparate workers into a highly productive team. But fame and stormy applause are not of interest to them; they know how to be content simply with the results, because they already know what they have achieved. They do not need value judgments from outside because they know how to make correct value judgments within themselves. This is why they prefer to remain on the sidelines and celebrate their achievements by bringing others into the limelight.

4. They can easily and naturally ask for help.

People often think that asking for help is a clear sign of weakness, and that asking questions is a sign of a lack of knowledge, skills or experience. Confident people have no problem recognizing their own weaknesses. They seek help not only because they desperately need it, but also because they understand that this way they improve the self-esteem of another person. A simple phrase, “Could you help me?” demonstrates great respect for the opinion and experience of the person to whom it is addressed. Otherwise you wouldn't contact him.

5. They always ask the question “Who else if not me?”

Many people believe that they have to wait: wait for a career advancement, wait for an offer from an employer, wait to be noticed. Confident people don't wait. They simply begin to make contacts and take action, at least even on social networks. We all have friends and acquaintances who may know someone we need. Confident people know their worth, they know that if they want, they can find financing, set up production, build their own relationships and network of contacts, choose their own path, in the end.

6. They don't put other people down.

Please note that people who like to gossip and discuss others behind their backs do this because subconsciously (or consciously) through comparison they want to find evidence that they are still better and superior. But confident people simply don’t need all this.

7. They are not afraid to look stupid...

Truly confident people aren't afraid to put themselves in situations where they don't look their best. And, oddly enough, people tend to respect them for it.

8. ...And they admit their mistakes.

Uncertainty breeds unnaturalness and pretense; Trust breeds sincerity and honesty. This is why confident people always admit and voice their mistakes. They learn from their failures and failures, and they are not afraid to let their failures become a cautionary tale for others. Confident people are not afraid to become a source of laughter. When you have full confidence in yourself, you won't be afraid to look "wrong" sometimes. If you are a sincere and unpretentious person, people don't laugh at you. They laugh with you.

9. They only look for approval from people who really matter to them.

Say you have a ton of followers on Twitter? Five thousand friends on Facebook? Cool. Professional and social network consisting of hundreds or even thousands? Amazing. But all this pales in comparison to the well-deserved trust and respect of the few people in your life who truly matter to you and whose opinions and support are priceless to you.

Observing others and studying their actions is one of the the best ways become stronger.

Most of us are not born confident. Often this feeling depends on the situation: sometimes we feel confident, sometimes not so much.

Fortunately, self-confidence can be learned. Action creates attitude; By changing behavior, you can change your sense of self.

So, what makes a confident person different?

1. He takes responsibility

A confident person will not shift the blame onto another. He understands that, regardless of the circumstances, the only true path to success is control over sensations and emotions.

2. He craves forward movement.

A confident person does not strive for perfection - he sees opportunities for improvement.

For self-confident people, the “ideal person” is someone who has a good understanding of themselves and their capabilities. Moving forward is both a journey and a choice.

3. He doesn't gossip, he inspires

He doesn't talk about other people. He is more interested in ideas, projects, goals, plans and aspirations.

A positive - or at least neutral - approach is important to him.

4. He understands the power of the word “no.”

A confident person does not promise too much. He understands the value of time and effort, and makes a promise only when he understands that he can fulfill it without giving up his goal.

But then it completes the task the best way.

5. He gives credit to his mind and body.

A self-confident person understands: in order for the body not to let you down and help you achieve better results, you need to take care of it. He values ​​balance, that is, sport, good food, education, hard work and sleep.

6. There is a reason for his actions.

He has a goal, and any action is a way to move towards it.

Therefore, he is dedicated to his work, does not feel fear, burns with enthusiasm and infects others with it.

7. He knows how to ask for help

A self-confident person understands that he cannot move mountains alone, so he often asks for help and is not afraid of it.

Such a person loves to help others and accept help.

8. He views failure as a lesson.

A confident person views failure not as a disaster, but as a tool for growth. He understands that there will inevitably be obstacles on the way to the goal, but he knows that perseverance will definitely yield results.

Remember that learning from others does not mean copying them. You need to take the best from them and find opportunities for growth in yourself. Over time, you will realize that your actions directly affect your results.

Observing others and studying their actions is one of the best ways to become stronger.

Self-confidence comes in many forms, from the arrogance and arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet faith of Jane Goodall. True self-confidence, as opposed to the false one with which people mask their shortcomings, is valuable in itself.

When we talk about confidence, one thing is true - truly confident people always have an edge over those who constantly doubt themselves, as they inspire others and make dreams come true.

If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right too. Henry Ford.

Ford's quote tells us that mindset affects the ability to achieve success. According to a study from the University of Melbourne, confident people are more likely to receive raises and promotions.

Of course, self-confidence is important, but what separates confident people from the rest?

Here are 12 habits and behaviors of confident people that you can successfully adopt and put into practice.

1. The source of their happiness is themselves

Happiness is an integral part of self-confidence. It is impossible to enjoy what you do if you are not happy.

Confident people receive satisfaction from their achievements and never think about what others think about them. They know for sure that outside opinions rarely correspond to the truth.

2. They don't judge anyone.

Confident people never judge others because they know that there is something good in everyone. In addition, they do not need to assert themselves at the expense of other people. By trying to compare ourselves with others, we only impose additional restrictions. Confident people do not waste time evaluating others and do not worry about meeting their expectations.

3. They disagree with things that actually make them uncomfortable.

A study conducted at the University of California San Francisco proves that people who find it difficult to say no are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that refusal is okay, and their self-esteem allows them to refuse without leaving others in any doubt about their intentions. When it comes time to say “no,” confident people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can do it” or “I’m not sure.” They say “no” confidently because refusing new obligations will help them fulfill existing responsibilities more effectively.

4. They listen more often than they talk.

Confident people listen more often than they speak because they don't have to prove anything. Confident people listen and pay attention to those around them, and therefore have greater opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions with others as an opportunity to show off, they focus on socializing because they know it is a more enjoyable and productive approach.

5. They avoid ambiguity

Confident people rarely use phrases such as “Um...”, “I’m not sure...”, “I think...” They use specific affirmative phrases because they know that mumbling and slurred speech interfere with getting the point across. to the interlocutor.

6. They value small victories.

Confident people love to test their strength and compete with others, even if the victory is very small. With a victory, even a small one, additional androgen receptors appear in our brain, which are influenced by testosterone. As a result, we gain self-confidence, motivation and readiness for new challenges. This way, a series of small victories will give you confidence for the next few months.

7. They play sports

A study conducted at the Eastern Ontario Research Institute found that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competitive. In addition, they had high self-esteem and valued their appearance. Best of all, exercise leads to increased self-confidence, and this is felt instantly, immediately after the release of endorphins into the bloodstream at the moment of exercise.

8. They don't seek other people's attention.

Often, those who seek the attention of others cause involuntary rejection. People quickly evaluate your attitude towards them, and therefore right attitude attracts them more than other factors (for example, the presence of acquaintances and position in society). Confident people always have the right attitude towards others.

They know how to distribute their attention. If they receive their share of recognition, they quickly shift their focus to those who helped them succeed. They do not seek approval or praise because they already know their worth.

9. They are not afraid to make mistakes

Confident people are not afraid to make mistakes. They openly express their opinions to check their correctness. They know how to learn from their mistakes and teach other people if their opinion turned out to be correct. Confident people know what they are capable of and do not perceive a mistake as a personal failure.

10. They are not afraid to take risks

When a confident person sees an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about possible failure, they ask themselves, "What's stopping me? Why can't I do this?" and then throw themselves into the thick of things. Fear does not hold them back because they know that those who do not try their hand will never succeed.

11. They acknowledge other people's accomplishments.

Insecure people constantly doubt their abilities, and therefore constantly try to criticize and judge others in order to prove their worth. Confident people, on the other hand, do not worry about their self-worth because the outside world does not affect their self-esteem. Instead of focusing on their own thoughts, confident people focus on those around them, which allows them to see the benefits they bring. As a result, they are able to positively evaluate other people and recognize their merits.

12. They are not afraid to ask for help.

Confident people know that asking for help does not make them weak or stupid. They know their strengths and weaknesses and look for other people to fill the gaps. They also know that they can learn new things from other people, thereby improving their skills.

To sum it up,

we can say that gaining self-confidence is a process, not an end goal. Please share your thoughts with me as... I learn from you as much as you learn from me.

Dr. Travis Bradberry, linkedin.com
Translation: Airapetova Olga

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Every normal person can doubt himself from time to time. Even more than that: the occasional thought that comes to you that you have shortcomings and that you have achieved little in your life is a sign that you are growing and developing. True, when you delve into yourself too persistently and tend to blame yourself for everything that happens around you, your self-esteem is clearly not all right. How can you tell if you have enough self-confidence? We suggest you do this immediately!

Sign 1: You know how to communicate

It is easy for you to carry on a conversation with a person, even if you don’t know him well. You react favorably to a stranger’s approach, and even with good friends have long conversations. Moreover, you know how to actively listen to your interlocutor: don’t interrupt, don’t burden them with your problems. You may have many friends or just one, depending on your personality type. However, no matter how many friends you have, they are willing to communicate with you.

Sign 2: You are mostly in a good mood

A person who is confident in himself will not get hung up on problems and spoil his mood for the whole day because he was rude to him in transport in the morning. Yes, you have troubles (how could we live without them?), but you are convinced that everything that happens is for the better. Even from a problem you know how to extract benefit and a lesson.

Sign 3: You are prone to self-irony

Only those who are aware of their shortcomings and accept them as part of themselves can laugh at their mistakes and missteps. You don't take criticism with hostility; it makes you think and, perhaps, change. But it does not cause much damage to your attitude towards yourself.

Sign 4: You know how to give and receive compliments

If someone around you pronounces an ode of praise in your honor, you thank him with a smile - and say something pleasant in response. Unlike notorious people who are always embarrassed when compliments are given to them, you know how to accept them with dignity, because you are able to distinguish a sincere friendly attitude from flattery. You are also able to see and voice the merits of others: you are not consumed by envy that your friend’s legs are longer than yours or that your colleague’s salary is higher. You know: you also have your undeniable advantages.

Sign 5: You don't over-apologize.

Sign 6: You are not inclined to divide the world into black and white

Such maximalism is typical for teenagers and... complex individuals. You understand perfectly well that the world is full of shades, and even the most inveterate scoundrel can have sympathetic character traits. True, this does not prevent you from rebuffing such people. You have the ability to view a situation from different angles.

Sign 7: You know how to share

And not necessarily food or money, but also intangible things: mood, kindness, joy. Generosity is the quality of a self-sufficient person who knows that the world is abundant and the Universe is favorable to him.