Scenario based on Harry Potter. Concert script for Student's Day "Harry Potter or the Book of Secrets of the Central Children's Theater"
What school do you go to? Does it include lessons in spells, potions, or broom-flying competitions? Would you like to be in such a school for one day? If yes, then we invite you to the school of magic and wizardry.
A small note. On February 1, my son will turn 10 years old; he has long since re-read and then watched all of Harry Potter. That year on New Year I bought him a Harry costume (robe, glasses, and most importantly a wand), and recently I bought a Sorting Hat with the opportunity. I also have a large number of scientific kits and chemical glassware that can be used as part of such a holiday. There was a desire to make a holiday on this topic back in 2014, but all hands never got around to it. If it weren't for the competition, we might not have made it :).
Age and number of guests— 8-10 years old, mostly boys, 10 people
Venue— Rented room in a children's center or anti-cafe
Room decoration
- Invitations on aged paper written in green ink
- "Express to Hogwarts" sign
- I really want to make a curtain with a brick wall
- Tesla ball (prediction ball)
Menu
- Custom cake in the shape of Hogwartz Castle
- Butterbeer (cocktails with dry ice)
- Cookies Magic Wands
- jelly shaped
Brief story of the holiday— The guys receive invitations to study at the school of magic and wizardry. To successfully study, you need to obtain credits in all core subjects.
Props
- magic cauldron (fondue maker)
- sheets of origami paper and diagram
- copper pipe with magnet
- hair dryer, ping pong ball
- flasks, test tubes, pipettes
- magic wand, foil figures
Detailed description of the holiday with games and tasks.
Hat distribution by faculties. Place notes in the hat with the inscription written in ink from a spy pen. The inscription appears when you shine an ultraviolet flashlight on it. For further outdoor competitions, it will be convenient for the children to be divided into two teams, so there will be only two names of faculties.
Potions Lesson
First, Professor Sprout invites students to explore how different magical liquids interact.
Experiment 1. Three flasks: in one - living water (ordinary water), in the second - unicorn tears (water with citric acid), in the third - crane tears (water with a pipe cleaner, for example, “Mole”). In small flasks there is snake venom (red cabbage juice), dragon blood (beet juice), phoenix blood (hibiscus).
Little wizards receive a set of empty test tubes into which they pour solutions from three flasks, and then add snake venom, dragon or phoenix blood drop by drop.
(Juices are natural indicators, so solutions will begin to change their color. For example, red cabbage juice is blue, in an acidic environment it turns red, in an alkaline environment it turns green. Our wizards will observe real magic).
Experiment 2. Brew the potion of eternal friendship.
Add the ingredients according to the recipe to the magic cauldron (fondue maker) with hot water.
Recipe: Kindle the Flame of Friendship (ignite dry alcohol)
Each guest must pour joy powder into the cauldron clockwise (powder from the supermarket for making jelly), while each wizard must cast part of the spell (some good wishes), stirring three times clockwise and three times counterclockwise.
Add mandrake flowers (carnation buds). Stir three times clockwise and three times counterclockwise.
Each on the tip of a knife, add a finger of romance (ground cinnamon) and stir three times clockwise and three times counterclockwise.
Add motes of fidelity (vanilla sugar) and stir three times clockwise and three times counterclockwise.
Cast the spell “Reducto!”, pour into cups, drink and send to the next lesson.
Transfiguration Lesson
Prof. Minerva McGonagallsuggests using a spell to transfigure a piece of paper. Ogiram schemes.
Quiditch competition.
Pre-paint one tennis ball gold. On others, write different numbers of points. Spread around the room.
The children, assigned to different faculties, must first collect the balls in a certain time, and then use an object that produces wind (a hairdryer) to collect all the balls in one place. If a golden ball is found, the collection of balls stops and only those that have already been found can be transferred.
The children are invited to make a tennis ball levitate using a hairdryer. (The air stream will keep the ball in the air thanks to Bernoulli's principle).
Levitation lesson.
Prof. Flitwick teaches little wizards letitation. First, the professor himself demonstrates the wonders of levitation with a magnet and a copper pipe. The professor first asks how long will the magnet fall in the air? (About half a second). The magnet passes freely into the pipe. How long will he fall in it?
The professor casts the Wingardium Leviosa spell and the magnet hangs in the pipe.
(The reason for this is the inextricable connection between magnetism and electricity. The movement of a magnet generates a change in the magnetic field, which, in turn, induces circulating circular currents in the pipe. And these currents generate magnetic fields that interact with the field of the magnet, slowing down its fall.)
Next, the children are given a magic wand. (A science toy that has a Van de Graaff electrostatic generator inside, which, as the name suggests, generates static electricity). The task is to keep the foil figures in the air.
Magic Lesson
The professor teaches children several simple tricks
Divination Lesson
Experiment 1. Fortune telling with milk
Pour full-fat milk into a bowl for each person and add some coloring. Next, the magic wand (ear stick) is dipped into the elixir of truth (liquid soap) and the dyes begin to move and an abstract picture is obtained. Imagination will help us see what awaits us in the near future.
The wizards pull out sheets of paper that look blank. Predictions are marked on them in advance with an indicator. The guys use a brush dipped in alkali, and the predictions appear.
Lesson in Care of Magical Creatures
The guys make a slug (chewing gum for hands from polyvinyl alcohol and borax).
Congratulations. You have successfully passed the exam in all subjects and received a Master of Magical Sciences diploma!
Best regards, Oksana Rusanova
P.S. This article is copyrighted and is entirely intended for private use; publication and use of it on other sites or forums is possible only with written consent author. Use in commercial purposes is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.
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Birthday boy Boy |
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Number of guests unlimited |
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Age 8-12 years |
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Duration of the holiday 3 hours |
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Venue house and yard |
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| Holiday colors Black, brown, green, orange |
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| Treats Black Spider cookies, cheese wands, Book of Spells cake, Dumbledore's Hat stuffed straws, butterbeer, juice cocktail |
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| Decor Hogwarts Express sign, brick door, plastic snakes, spiders, cockroaches, green and yellow balloons |
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| Themed entertainment
Games: “Blind Choice of a Hat”, “Preparing a Magic Potion”, “Search for the Golden Snitch”, “Search for Magical Creatures”, Snitch Game |
The main characters of the holiday (based on the tale of Harry Potter)
Harry Potter themed party idea
Create a unique atmosphere of real presence in a fairy-tale school of wizards. Not to play at it, but to really BE in it.
PREPARATION FOR THE SCHOOL OF WIZARDS
To tell the truth, one event prompted me to decide to organize a magical party based on the Harry Potter film for my son and his friends. My son and I went to an antique store. Accidentally. And there they installed a real ship’s bell on the display case. We heard it ring. And then my boy exclaimed: “So this is Professor Dumbledore’s bell!” The bell really resembled a chimera. Here, at the counter, we finally decided on the idea for the holiday! And, of course, we bought a bell!
1. Invitations to a party with Harry Potter
We were going to base the plot of the holiday on the lives of little wizards at school. Do you remember how each of them got there for training? An owl (instead of a carrier pigeon) brought them a letter from the professor. They got ready, went to the station and looked for platform “9, 3/4”. And on the platform they passed through a brick wall into another, fairy-tale and magical world!
We decided not to “be wise” and made the invitations in the form of letters with Dumbledore’s wax seal on the back.
A little about text design. In theory, the internal content of the letter should correspond to the annual invitation from McGonagall for the new school year. All inscriptions must be made in green ink and it is advisable to draw the green coat of arms of the school of magicians at the top of the message. And if you don’t know how to use pen and ink, create an invitation in regular Microsoft Word using the Blackadder ITC font and green fill.
And the text itself:
Dear Mr. Potter [addressing each guest personally]
Welcome to another school year at Hogwarts! We hope you can join us!
We will again wear magic clothes, play matches, prepare potions and perform magic. You know that Hogwarts and its surrounding areas are well protected. But if you miss the Express to school, you won't get to school!
We are waiting for your answer! If you cannot convey your solution by owl, write to us at _______ ( email address), or contact us via the Muggle telephone system at _____ (telephone number).
We look forward to your arrival at Hogwarts.
Sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Hogwarts Academy
And for everyone who is interested, a small master class on the topic of making a seal with your own hands.
I did Hogwarts seal from the usual polymer clay(Before this, I dried the lump of clay a little in the oven). Then, using a sewing needle (or an ordinary toothpick), I applied the pattern of the coat of arms of the school of magicians. The grooves need to be made wide rather than deep. Then the pattern on the sealing wax will be clearer.
2. Decoration of the playground, scenery for real wizards
a) Platform 9, ¾. Express to Hogwarts. The place of departure of the students, the place where the most fabulous adventures!
Of course, this sign was simply destined to become part of our holiday!
Our dad took it upon himself to make the sign. For the sign, he used a piece of plywood and drilled holes for hanging. Then I primed it for painting. All inscriptions are made with acrylic paint in white, black, red and gold. A circle with numbers can be circled under a regular portion plate.
With inscription "Hogwarts Express" everything is much more complicated. Before you paint the letters, you need to make a pattern (Microsoft Word using Perpetua Titling MT font 180pt and format it as an outline). Trace the letters on the board along the contours of the pattern. And then - sketch the outline with gold paint.
b) Platform 9, ¾ - Brick wall. The brick wall through which the wizards passed on the way to the school of magicians.
To “camouflage” the entrance to our house, I decided to make a real red brick wall. The most economical option is to buy a roll of red brick wallpaper at the market (or at a hardware store). But, unfortunately, I didn’t find anything that suited me. That's why I decided to make the wall with my own hands. And, since you already have to spend time on this, it is better to make a “wall” not from paper, but from fabric (so that you can use ready-made props later).
At a fabric store, I bought a regular dark brown fabric bathroom curtain (the advantage of it is that there are ready-made loops at the top, which will make it easy to hang the “wall” by the door). The best way to paint bricks on canvas is with a kitchen sponge or fabric paint.
Once the orange base was ready, I took a brush and used a darker paint (you could even use brown!) to paint the divisions between the bricks! This is what my finished brick wall looked like.
c) Diagon Alley. All new students of the school of magic were sent here to receive everything they needed for training - magic wands, books, powders, uniforms.
Under "Diagon Alley" We decorated our son's room. They removed all his things and left only what was needed for the magical holiday.
To fill the shelves, we bought stuffed owls, toads, rats and cats.
And we attached a real broom to the window (having previously hidden the wooden handle with gold paint) and signed "Nimbus 2000".
3. Costumes and props for real wizards
Black raincoats for little magicians and we rented hats from a carnival costume store. But with with magic wands I had to tinker with it myself.
Material: wooden blanks, hot silicone glue, beads, beads, pebbles, sticks, acrylic black and brown paint, varnish.
And don't forget about magic potion! Bloodworms (spaghetti with marinade), seaweed (leaves of grass from the yard), mouse stomach (canned oysters), etc. From this, children-magicians will learn to perform magic and transformations!
And the last thing is speaking Dumbledore's hat. Unfortunately, we were unable to find the speaker, but we bought a fairly plausible imitation of foam rubber and velvet.
PROGRESS OF THE HOLIDAY ON THE THEME OF HARRY POTER
1. Meeting Harry Potter's guests
The guys (we invited 16 people to our party) were very surprised by the “stone wall” at the entrance. Their facial expressions are simply impossible to describe in words!
And then - we gave them magic wands and the game began!
2. Games and entertainment for students of the school of magic
When all our guests successfully passed through the brick wall and sat on the sofas of our main hall of the “school of magic,” their eyes sparkled with delight. I, in the image of Minerva, began to initiate them into students.
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Game 1. Blind hat selection Remember, with the help of a magic hat, Hogwarts students were assigned to study in 4 different houses - Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff? The essence of our game was the same! And then - there was our first magic lesson. Professor Dumbledore (aka dad, only with a beard and in a red wizard's robe) taught our guests how to prepare various “potions.” |
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Game 2. Preparing a magic potion The children were allowed to mix the ingredients of the potions in random order and submit them for evaluation by the professor. Everyone had to not only prepare the potion, but also come up with a name for it and say what they could do with it! Everyone really enjoyed this fun! I had to repeat the game several times! Some of our guests believed so much in the power of their magic that they even risked trying a homemade product! Fortunately, at least the components of the “potions” were edible! After all the children's experiments with products, it was urgent to clean the house, and at the same time ventilate it before the feast! Therefore, we decided that dad would continue to play with the guys in the yard, and I would clean up and set the festive table. |
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Game 3. Hunting for magical creatures (outdoors) Throughout the yard we placed small plastic figurines of creatures popular in the wizarding world. These were owls, dragons, dragon eggs, snakes, rats and frogs, etc. The one who finds the most described items wins. It is important to inspire children to use magic objects such as brooms and wands when searching. It will be much more interesting this way! |
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Game 4. Search for the Golden Snitch This game is a little more difficult than the previous ones. The essence of the game: children should look for a real Snitch (and, by the way, you can buy one at a toy store, there are many battery-powered options). But this needs to be done in teams (remember, we divided them into houses?). To play, you first need to hang yellow paper and rubber balls around the clearing (or around the house), which would look like a magic snitch. You also need to prepare a list of questions in advance (best of all, about knowing the plot of your favorite movie). Progress of the game: all the guys sit down in teams, you read the question. The team that gave the correct answer goes in search of the Snitch. They have 5 minutes. If the “seekers” return with nothing during this time, or with an imitation of a real snitch, the game continues.. |
Characters:
Harry Potter - Ksenia I.
Hermione - Alla A.
Ron-Olesya I.
Voldemort - Valentin N.
Albus Dumbledore - Marina Yurievna
Book - Elena A.
Professor McGonakal - Vika Yurievna
(To Slepakov's song Harry Potter, Ron, Hermione come on stage and sing about their problems )
Ron: My friends, I remembered that we have a magical spring.
Harry: Exactly
Hermione : We must use it!
( They run up to the jug (Phonogram of a drop), but it is empty, the heroes begin to be indignant)
Harry Potter: How so?
Ron: Who stole the elixir?
Hermione: Well, it’s just pure frustration. I know what we should do, at Hogwarts, in the library there is a book of secrets, and there is a recipe for making an elixir. Forward!
(there is a door on the stage, the light is dim, the characters go to the door, get scared of each other, trip over each other, Ron comes to the door and casts a spell)
Ron: Wooden door, please let us in!
(all the heroes stand and look at the door, it doesn’t open).
(Harry says the spell)
Hermione: Ron, what are you doing? (laughs) You talk to the door.
Harry Potter : Deprimo! ( Soundtrack Opening the door)
(The door opens with a creak)
(The heroes end up in the library, look around, look for a book with lanterns, go backstage, magical music and slide library or video)
Harry: Well, where is this book? (looks for it)
Hermione: I'm already tired of walking.( shines a flashlight on the stage and also tries to find a book)
Ron: Harry, you stepped on my foot. Yes, what is it, the flashlight went out.
(The flashlights go out, a book appears on the stage in the darkness, a spotlight is directed at it, books fly behind the scenes)
(phonogram crying)
Hermione: What kind of hysteria is this, where does this sound come from?
(Go to the book)
(And the book begins to sing "Brown mud")
Book: (sniffling) Hello. I am a magic book that knows everything in the world, but trouble happened: one of my pages disappeared. I don't know who did it.
Ron: What page?
Book: A page that contained an ancient recipe for a magical elixir of knowledge.
Harry: That's how it always is.
Hermione: We knew it.
Harry panics, Hermione calms him down.
Hermione: We must go to Professor Dumbledore for help, he knows everything, he will help us.
Dance with sticks
Dumbledore : I know who stole the page, our eternal enemy, and a tramp!
(The heroes look at each other and guess)
Harry: So Voldemort stole the page...
Hermione: But how can we find it?
Dumbledore : I can help you, I have him on Skype in enemies.
(We are calling, dialing soundtrack, the soundtrack of the “Wickedness” tone sounds)
(The curtains move, the lights blink)
Dance of wickedness
Video ( as Voldemort walks, eventually takes the stage and introduces himself)
Performance Voldemort (based on Leontiev's song "Casanova")
(after the song, the villain goes backstage, and the heroes come out to meet him, on both sides, blocking his path)
Dumbledore : We know that you stole the page with the recipe for the magic elixir of knowledge. Bring her back!!!
Voldemort: Yes, I stole it, but I am not able to return it, the page is torn into three parts.
Harry: How can we get her back now?
Ron: Harry, what are we going to do?
Hermione: (addresses the villain). Now how do we get these parts back, what do we need to do?
Voldemort: You must fulfill my three conditions, then parts of the page will return to you.
Dumbledore : And what are these conditions?
Voldemort:
1 condition - You must destroy all your memories of life (about CDT).....
Condition 2 - You must make all your friends cry and fill the bag with their tears
3rd condition: And the last condition you must cast a dark spell on the school professors
Leads heroes astray
1 condition..
Ron: No! We can't do this.
Harry: My friends, we need to find some way out.
Hermione:
Video of memories, Video of good deeds, song
(pool of memories _ we are under glass, videos about CDT). Live song from Larisa or Alla, a wonderful country student song
Talking hat
Connecting with the dark lord on Skype 3 times, he gets worse each time
The heroes will either call, or introduce themselves, or go out with the professor
Condition 2 (Professor McGonakal) game with the audience (Musical cutscenes) and cause mass joy which one of the heroes collects in a bag
Song - Sketch by teachers
Login to Skype: you win, get your pieces (recipe) back
Book: Thank you, my friends, for returning the page. Now I have again become a magical book of great secrets. And now each of you will find in me.........
The teachers come out to the music and Professor Dumbledore reads out the recipe that is in the book. Meanwhile, letters with a recipe appear on the slide.
Mix six cups of LOVE with CARE,
Three spoons of TRUST, a cup of WORK,
Two cups of FORGIVENESS and a handful of KINDNESS,
Add a little LOYALTY, a gentle DREAM.
Three cups of HOPE and FRIENDSHIP half a bowl,
A glass of RESPECT for elders and loved ones.
Two spoons of LAUGHTER, a little LUCK,
A pinch of PATIENCE. And your task
Season everything with a heartfelt SMILE and AFTERNESS,
And your life will turn into a “Fairy Tale” again.
Soundtrack of water murmur (jug full)
The professor takes the jug, everyone surrounds him, and each teacher complements the jug with his own wishes and the heroes also wish.
HEROES DRINK WATER
Ron:
Harry:
Hermione:
As a result, they say a general spell, which is aimed at the hall, so that the children also receive a source of knowledge.
Hermione: Hooray! I finally got my presentation done.
Pugachev's song "On the Road to the Sun" Presentation of associations
Ron: I have a thirst for knowledge.
Hermione: There's a lot more we want to know
All the characters approach the stacks of books on the advance stage, take them and the flash mob begins.
Flash mob dance with books
Attention! The site administration is not responsible for the content methodological developments, as well as for compliance with the development of the Federal State Educational Standard.
Thematic day of self-government, the scenario is designed for a school in which from 1st to 11th grade in one parallel.
Purpose of the event: Increasing students' motivation for teaching activities.
Objectives of the event:
- Formation of interest among schoolchildren in in-depth study of sciences.
- Satisfying students' needs for practical activities.
- Promoting career guidance for school graduates.
Form of organizing children's activities: self-government day. Grades 1-8 – students, 9-11 – professors (high school teachers).
Progress of the event
Classes start at 8.00.
At 7.40 the whole school gathers in the assembly hall. Professor McGonagall (understudy of the academic director) opens the event and says that the sorting hat will now distribute the classes into faculties (to the song of the sorting hat, the class prefects pull out pieces of paper from the hat with the names of the faculties: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff). The distribution ceremony takes place to the song of the sorting hat (appendix).
Professor Dumbledore (the school's understudy) introduces the professors and says a welcoming speech: “Before we start classes, I would like to say a few words. And my words will be like this: Berk Bubble Remnant Trick. That’s it, thank you everyone!”
Everyone leaves for classes. After the second lesson, grades 1-7 go to the Boar's Head bar (dining room), and grades 8-11 after the third lesson.
During the day, all faculties gain points. Two classes per department.
After classes are over, everyone gathers in the assembly hall. Professor Dumbledore: “Now let’s determine the primacy of faculties in studies...”
To the music of a waltz, Professor Dumbledore and Magonagall open the ball. Then a concert for invited teachers and veterans.
The superiority of faculties in art is determined by musical numbers. Teachers evaluate. Then the professors end with a common song.
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The last call is the most basic and difficult holiday to prepare, especially if the script is written independently, without involving specialists and directors. This scenario seemed impossible at first, but it only seemed so at the beginning. It turned out really great.
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Preview:
Last call script
"To freedom with a clear conscience"
2010-2011 academic year.
Characters:
Presenter 1:
Presenter 2:
Head teacher
caretaker
Cleaning woman
Harry Potter
O.S.P. studio family:
Dad
Mother
Grandmother
Andryusha
Elka
Sidekick
"Cool": 1
Virus
Doctor
Politician Vova
Politician Borya
Politician Volodya
Serduchka
Students:1
Teachers: 1
Song adaptations:
- “My number 245” (G. Krichevsky)
- “I recognize a sweetheart by his gait” (G. Sukachev)
- “Moscow Autumn” (A. Ivanov)
- "Robot" (Tattoo)
- “Reading on the fence” (Accident)
- "Combat" (Lube)
- “Five reasons” (I. Nikolaev)
- "At the Party" (Strelki)
- “Tanks rumbled on the field” (Chizh and K)
- “Gentlemen Officers” (O. Gazmanov)
- "Opera" (Lube)
- “Computer ditties”
- "And by the River" (Dirty Rotten Scoundrels)
- "Demobilization" (Gas Strip)
- "Call me" (Lube)
- “Come on” (Lube)
Music. Song "My number 245". All participants line up on stage in 2 lines and sing
Not abroad, not to Bonn, not to Nice
I'm graduating forever
From my dear school, where I studied,
I studied poorly sometimes! (1-2)
Didn't pass the test
And I failed three tests, (2-3-4-5)
I don’t feel like retaking it,
To whom I owe, I have forgiven everyone.
The last bell will ring,
The last lesson will end,
And we will soon choose
One of a thousand roads.
I will pass my exams with an A,
I will put a stamp on the certificate,
And your 11-A
I will always remember!
Presenter 1: We spent eleven years, a long eleven years, in prison!
Presenter 2: They denied themselves everything...
Presenter 1: On an extra walk...
Presenter 2: In the disco...
Presenter 1: In an extra interesting book!
Presenter 2: And here it is, this solemn moment!
All: To freedom with a clear conscience!
The first line moves apart and three prisoners come out.
Presenter 1: Conditionally released early...
Presenter 2: Martyrs of enlightenment and science...
Presenter 1: New generation...
All: Graduates of 2011!!!
Music. Song “And I recognize my sweetheart by his gait”
Everyone (singing):
And I recognize the head teacher by his gait,
I recognize the director by his footsteps,
1 prisoner shows footprints of Bigfoot.
I know the weather from the weather report,
And I recognize the school by its bricks!
Eh, on gray bricks!
Zek 1: (shows a photo of the class teacher):
And I recognize my dear one from the photo,
Left me your card!
Everyone (singing): And we recognize dear one from the photo,
She left us her card!
Zek 1: And freedom will greet us joyfully at the entrance!
Zek 2: Here it is, this sweet air of freedom!
Zek 3: A hundred paths and a hundred roads are open to us!
Harry Potter appears with a police baton.
Harry: You guys have only two roads: either you go back to college for five years, or you do indefinite hard labor for the rest of your days. So much for your freedom!
Zek 1: Oh, I really want to go to school again!
Zek 2: Hey, let us back in!
Cleaning woman: Well, why are you pounding, why are you pounding? Just yesterday what were you shouting?
All prisoners: School is a prison of nations!
Cleaning lady: What about today?
Harry: And today for us school is a feast of the mind!
Cleaning woman: Well, now you have no place at this feast. Oh, piree. Oh, puree...
Harry: Nothing is impossible for magic!
Cleaning woman: What kind of 40% school bottled gin is this?
Harry: I'm not Jin. I am Harry Potter - a great magician and wizard!
Cleaning woman: How can you prove that you are a magician and wizard?
Harry: And I have a magic wand! (Shows striped staff)
Cleaning woman (waving a mop): I have a magic mop for you too! Right now I’ll wave it...
Harry: And we are transported to first grade! ( They run away)
Music. Song "Moscow Autumn"
Everyone (singing) : Checkered white light,
Line up first class,
To school for 10 years
They sentenced us.
Education
And enlightenment
Like a punishment
No crime!
School years, school years,
Well, this is just a mystery of nature!
When we emerge from them to freedom,
We are drawn back to these difficult school years!
8 “first graders” appear, one with a large plastic car on a string.
Teacher : Hello, first graders! Let's start our first lesson in life!
Presenter 1 : First teacher Natalya Vsevolodovna Osipova. I have long noticed that the love of learning can be represented as a fraction...
Presenter 2 : The older the class, the lower the absolute value...
Student 1 : Natalya Vsevolodovna, will there be exams?
Teacher: They will, they will.
Student 2 : Will there be tests and sections?
Teacher: They will, they will.
Student 3: Natalya Vsevolodovna, how correct: fish have no teeth...
Student 4: Fish have no teeth...
Student 5: Or do fish have no teeth?
Student 6: Natalya Vsevolodovna, what are you having for lunch today?
Student 7: Natalya Vsevolodovna, can I go out?
Student 8: Natalya Vsevolodovna, will they give us an order for good studies?
(The teacher does not have time to answer, turning his head first to one, then to the other student.)
Teacher: Well, not an order, but they will definitely give you a medal. But first you need to learn how to draw sticks: 20 sticks tilted to the left and 20 sticks tilted to the right.
Student 1: Oh, I don’t know where is left and where is right!
Student 2: I can't count to 20!
Student 3: And I don’t have a pen!
Student 4: I forgot my notebook!
Student 5: Well, why are you pestering the teacher? She's about to faint!
Student 6: So, whoever else asks one question will have to deal with me! My dad is a policeman!
Student 7: And my dad is a driver!
Student 8: And my dad is the boss!
Teacher: So, children, quickly lined up in pairs. It's time for us to have breakfast!
Students (in unison): Hurray! ( They leave holding hands.)
Musical interruption. Koresh and Elka come out.
Sidekick: Oh, Elka, hello! How did you like your first time in first grade?
Elka: Nothing, just the teacher is so forgetful. He asks the same thing a hundred times and immediately forgets. What is two times two, what is two times two? Think about it, I wrote “twice two equals 4” on the board and immediately forgot, and again asks and asks...
Sidekick: And finally they pressed us in! Made me write a unified state exam in singing. So we chose all the creative tasks for 5 points. And there it was necessary to write a symphony or an opera, so we got both an opera and a symphony!
Elka: Yeah, I understand, you composed such a symphony that two opera singers came and fined the school for exceeding the noise level in the neighborhood! (Leave)
Musical interruption. The teacher and first-graders return.
Teacher: So, children, today we will take reading techniques. Ivanov, go, give it up!
Student 1 ( picks up the typewriter from the floor and hands it to the teacher): Can I teach you the technique first, and then the reading?
Teacher: Well, give it up! (Takes the typewriter.) Yes. Petrov goes to the board. Read!
Teacher: Why is this?
Teacher: Where can I find such a text for you?
Student 3: Where, where? In Karaganda. Get out of here, you miserable loser! Can I hand over the first one?
Teacher: Come on!
Student 3: Abevegede, yokelapene, yoperesete.
Teacher: Stop- stop-stop. Well, why such speed? You didn't understand anything from what you read.
Student 3: I understood everything, I can retell it verbatim!
Teacher: Well, tell me again!
Student 3: Abvgd, yokelemene, yoperesete!
All: Yes!!!
Teacher: So, listen to the condition of the problem: Masha had two candies, and Dasha had three candies...
Student 1: Oh, here you need to add: two girls plus five candies, that’s seven.
Teacher: Question: how many sweets did Vasya take from them?
Student 2: Ah, then we have to subtract: two girls minus five candies will give Vasya five candies!
Student 3: Oh, and I got Vasya zero candies and three lanterns! (Vasya looks out from behind with a black eye.)
Teacher: You see how many different solutions the simplest problem has. Everyone worked creatively, which means everyone got...
All: 5 points each!
Music. Song "Robot"
Everyone (singing): Nobody ever
Will not understand anything:
Such a country
Unreal flight.
Winds of wild spring
Snow-white dreams
Golden showers,
It's all over!
And I won't tell anyone
What I love to study
I love to study
I love studying.
School, school, school,
I love you, I don't know why
School, school, school,
I always miss you so much.
School, school, 10 classes,
Like snowstorms
We've flown by, we've flown by,
They flew by, flew by...
The participants in the scene run away. Elka and Koresh come out and continue the conversation.
Elka: And finally, you know, Koresh, I don’t regret at all that the rodaks sent me not to an elite school, but to a very ordinary, secondary school...
Sidekick: Yeah, how much cabbage you saved!
Elka: What does cabbage have to do with it? Here we get comprehensive development for free and do what we love!
Sidekick: Yeah, for example, I love penmanship.
Elka: And I foreign languages.
Sidekick: Yes, you, Elochka, are finally a polyglot!
Elka: I learned to think in four languages! Guess what?
Sidekick: Well, I only know how to translate: dollars into rubles and back!
Elka: And then we even saw computers here!
Sidekick: Yeah, from afar.
Elka: I’m already playing “Chizhik-Pyzhik” on the computer keyboard with one finger.
Sidekick: And I with both hands - Tchaikovsky's First Concerto! So let all sorts of dummies study in these elite paid schools...
Elka: And the new degeneration will receive advanced education!
Music. Song “Reading on the fence”
Elka and Koresh (singing):
I read on the fence:
"Admission to an Elite College
And to a school with instruction in English.”
To one such college
A friend of mine went by
While dad had currency in his wallet!
Got a diploma with an A
Boy, it’s elementary
To hang it in a frame on the ceiling,
At first he worked as a loader
He's in an elite shop,
And then as a bouncer in an elite pub!
All : Eh, it’s time for us to ask our parents:
“Why, my dears, should we pay for colleges?”
After all, it would be logical to give us everything in cash,
We could live to see retirement!
Elka and Koresh run away. The class teacher, the director, and the cleaning lady appear.
Class teacher:Elena Alekseevna, I told you a hundred times that a guard needs to be stationed at the entrance to the school porch.
Presenter 1: Class teacher 11-A Filatova Irina Borisovna.
Presenter 2: “He treats children very well...
Presenter 1: Because he doesn’t expect anything good from them!”
Class teacher:Here again some Harry Potter has broken into the school with a baton and is threatening the safety of the children.
Cleaning woman: Not with a club, but with a magic stick!
Director: Well, just think, the boy came to visit his beloved girl. And you made up something like this: a baton, a magic stick...
Presenter 1: School director Elena Alekseevna Pazina. He believes that the first task of a teacher is to teach children how to behave in polite society...
Presenter 2: And the second is to find this society!
Cleaning woman: No, I understood everything, this is not a hooligan, not Harry Potter, but an ordinary American spy!
Music. The girls parade and show off their outfits.
Harry Potter (into microphone) ): Eustace to Alex. From the file on 11-A. Girls. Mysterious. Beautiful. Moderately serious and bitchy. My favorite school object is a mirror. They like to solve difficult problems, the main one of which is what to wear to school tomorrow? They also enjoy doing shooting exercises, such as shooting chips, candies, and crackers. They also mercilessly shoot their eyes left and right. They finish off their victims with edged weapons - sharp tongues and heels, which they wield perfectly...
The head teacher and 2 teachers come out.
Director: Who! Well, who wiped the dust off my table?
Cleaning lady: Me!
Director: You're fired!
Cleaning lady: For what?!
Director: After all, the sponsor's phone number was recorded there!
Head teacher: ABOUT! Who will give the school a Mercedes now?!
Teacher1 : Yes, the school doesn’t need this Mercedes!
Director: You are wrong! You can always sell something you don't need to buy something you don't need!
Cleaning woman: For example, I need a new mop!
Teacher 2: And in the physics room - a multimedia projector!
Teacher 1: And new pointers for the geography classroom!
Director: Yes, I gave you as many as 30 grand a month ago! What happened to them?
All: Broke!
Cleaning woman: Yeah, over the heads of the students! For example, I’m taking care of school property! I never knock my mop over my children! I rag them, rag them...
The participants in the scene leave. Family members leave the O.S.P. studio.
Grandma (sings): Oh, kiss me everywhere, I’m already seventy-eight...
Dad: You, Klara Zakharovna, don’t distract me with your erotic songs. Quickly admit where you hid it from me?
Mother: Oh! Well, Seryozha! What are you talking about? What have we hidden from you?
Dad: And the diary with deuces of this taiga elk, (slap) this Central Asian pokemon! (slap.)
Grandma: Yes, no one is hiding him from you, there he is lying under the sofa!
Dad: Why is this diary lying under the sofa, if its place is always here, under the frying pan with fried potatoes? Who put it there?
Andryusha: Grandfather put this under the leg so that the sofa wouldn’t rock...
Dad: So, I build a logical chain: if the diary suddenly appears under the sofa, in an aquarium with fish, under the bed, then there is a parent-teacher meeting at school again. The question arises...
Mother: I won’t go to the parent meeting, I have nothing to wear!
Grandma: Yeah, they say on TV every day that if a woman doesn’t have diamonds, then she’s naked!
Andryusha: I will grow up, go to work and buy you diamonds!
Dad: You'll buy it, you've already bought it! There, in the diary it sparkles all over the page: three diamonds of two carats: “one”, “one”, “one”!
Grandma: Why are you scolding the child, Sergei Gennadievich? These are not a few at all!
Dad: What do you think this is, Klara Zakharovna?
Grandma: Well, it’s like on TV on Channel One: “THIS IS THE FIRST!”, “THE FIRST!”, “THE FIRST!” (Leave)
Musical interruption. The Literature Teacher and 3 Students come out.
Teacher: So, dear partisan comrades, I begin the interrogation on homework.
Presenter 1: Literature teacher Yulia Ivanovna Golman...
Presenter 2: Invented a new type of lesson...
Presenter 1: A strict lesson!
Teacher: Sidorov, when will you hand over 13 poems to me?
Student 1: Oh, Yulia Ivanovna, at the end of the year I’ll sell everything in bulk!
Teacher: Okay, only the estimates will be wholesale! Ivanov! Have you been surfing the Internet again until the morning?
Student 2: I didn't wander. I was hanging...
Teacher: Okay, go to the board, Microsoft Office!
Student 1: He forgot how to write a long time ago!
Teacher: Nothing. Let him scribble at least some crazy things on the board with chalk! Knock: “I, Alexander Ivanov, solemnly promise to submit an essay on Russian literature by Friday.”
Student 3: Let him play something on the keys for you!
Teacher: Number. Signature.
Student 2: So, Yulia Ivanovna, I handed in your essay a long time ago!
Teacher: But somehow I didn’t see him...
Student 2: So I sent it to you via the Internet. To your site!
Teacher: Oh, where do I have it? At what address?
All: Double, double, double, dog, dot, ru!
Teacher: Don't know. Maybe some dog received it and even checked it, maybe even gave it an “A”. And I, my dear, give you a D for your essay. No right of correspondence! So, what day is it today?
All: Friday!
Teacher: What kind of surgery do we have on Fridays?
All: Big spanking!
Teacher: That's right, everyone handed in their diaries quickly, everyone will receive a severe reprimand!
All: For what?
Teacher: For everything good: for absenteeism, for smoking, for behavior!
Student 1: Yulia Ivanovna, how do you know everything about us?
Student 2: You just came to school.
Student 3: And yesterday you had a day off!
Teacher: What about yesterday! You haven’t thought about it yet, but I already know what you’ll do in a month!
Music. Song "Combat".
Everyone (singing ): Everything is like in a movie, like in a war,
Pushkin is sobbing on the wall.
We take the test for the last time,
Or maybe we, or maybe us...
Losing.
And in the spring, and in the spring
Birds fly high,
Teacher: And I'll pass the test for the last time
Passes eleventh grade.
Everyone (singing ): Battalion commander, mamanya, mamanya, battalion commander,
It’s not in vain that you, apparently, chased the guys,
And every student firmly grasped
The great mighty Russian language!
Battalion commander, mamanya, mamanya, battalion commander,
We won the battle for our certificate,
After all, everyone has mastered your science:
Hard to learn, easy to fight!
The participants in the previous scene leave. A biology teacher, 3 students, a student and a friend come out arm in arm.
Teacher: So, let's start the biology lesson.
Presenter 1: Teacher of biology and geography Galkina Irina Alekseevna.
Presenter 2: He believes that by often repeating something good to his students...
Presenter 1: You can wean them off something bad!
Teacher: The topic of the lesson is “Smoking harms learning.”
Student 1: Oh, why did you remind me! Now you'll want to smoke throughout the entire lesson!
Teacher: Never mind, after my lecture, I hope you won’t smoke!
Student 2: We will smoke, but with such disgust!
Teacher: Okay, if you don’t want to talk about smoking, write down another topic: “Drug addiction interferes with knowledge”!
All: Yes!!!
Teacher: Today you had to bring your favorite animals to the lesson for experiments. Who brought whom?
Student 1: I brought my favorite bunny! ( Shows.)
Student 2: And I brought my favorite elephant! ( Shows.)
Student 3: And I brought my favorite crocodile! ( Shows.)
Teacher: Petrova, what kind of fossil is this with you?
Student (arm in arm with guy): This is my four-legged friend!
Teacher: What class is he from? It seems from 10-A?
Student: From the class of mammals! (Friend makes a scary face) Predators!
Teacher: Nightmare! Let's evacuate immediately! We will conduct the lesson outdoors.
Musical interruption. All participants turn 360 0 .
Teacher: Look, guys, what kind of tree is this?
All: Oak!
Teacher: Right. Look how stunted and pale he is, and why?
Student 1: But because during breaks, certain individuals smoke him!
Teacher: That's right, children. This is what you will be like if you don’t quit smoking.
Student 2: Oh, damn, I’m wondering why I have acorns and acorns in my pockets every day. So, am I gradually turning into an oak tree?
Teacher: Well, of course, who else could you turn into, not a cactus? (The participants in the scene leave.)
Musical interruption. Enter the Class Teacher and 2 Students.
Class teacher:Yeah, gotcha? Where were you yesterday on the test? Well, I'm waiting: addresses, appearances, codes, call signs!
Student 1: Calm down, Irina Borisovna, we have certificates for everything...
Student 2: ... and explanatory! (shows a pile of papers.)
Music. Song "Five Reasons"